Rashida is a born-again Christian who believes that the key to success is in finding your God-given purpose.
Rashida shares the message behind her work: “There is an old saying that says ‘’life is like a good book, the further you read it the more it makes sense’’. Marriage is one of the most beautiful institutions God has given mankind yet the most misunderstood and misinterpreted. As people we find ourselves making mistakes that end up ruining our lives or that of others. In this book, I share how I almost lost myself and destroyed myself because of marriage. How I was desperate for marriage, lost my worth, and reduced myself to nothing just so I can get married. I had forgotten who I was, ready to put my dreams on hold and change myself just so I can be marriage material and be Mrs so and so. I was terrified of being alone to an extent that I didn’t mind being disrespected and being willing to accept being treated as less than I am. Most of us find ourselves in bad relationships, enter into wrong marriages because afraid of being labeled as a spinster. That it is better to be disrespected than to be alone but we shouldn’t be afraid of being alone because there is power in rediscovering your own voice and finding your purpose. I hope that as I reveal my truth, inspire you to find yours, and in doing that you marry for the right reasons. Always remember: it’s a good life.”
We had the pleasure of chatting with Rashida to gain a true insight into the inspiration behind her work.
At what moment did you discover your gift for writing?
When I was young my older sister Bridget loved watching movies especially late in the evening but she was afraid of watching alone and she would ask me to watch with her. Because it was late after the movie was finished I would grab my blanket and go to sleep but my sister insisted that we wait and see who were the producers and writers of that particular movie. She used to praise and appreciate the people who were responsible for such great art and creativity of words. I used to find it strange that instead of praising the actors my sister would praise the writers and that made me think highly of writers and my love for writing started to develop. I wanted to be creative and I discovered my gift for writing when I was doing grade 12 when our English teacher gave us an unprepared test where we had to write about our school trip to Durban and how was the experience. It was a bit difficult for me because I had never been to Durban, I had to be creative and explain what Durban looked like and its beauty. A few days later he brought back our papers and I got 87%, that’s when I knew that I can write and I can be creative.
What inspired your title ‘’my pursuit of marriage’’?
The whole purpose of the book was to help women get married for the right reasons and to help women empower themselves and not be slaves of marriage. The name of the book was rather a teamwork effort, at first, the book was titled ‘’why should I get married’’ but after I gave my book to my friends for proofreading, they said the title of the book does not correlate with the content of the book. Because when you say ‘’why should I get married’’ then it gives one the impression that lessons or steps that one should take to get married are in the book where else the book is about your distorted desires of marriage and that’s where we agreed that I was actually running after marriage and the title my pursuit of marriage will do correlate with what is inside the book.
What do you hope women take away from this book?
Most of us find ourselves in bad relationships; enter into wrong marriages because we are afraid of being alone or afraid of being labeled as a loner that it is better to be disrespected than being alone but we shouldn’t be afraid of being alone because there is power in rediscovering your own voice, in finding your purpose or self-identity. I hope that as I reveal my truth inspire you to find yours and in doing that you marry for the right reasons. I hope that women will learn to love themselves and value themselves, be able to be independent, and be content with whom and what they are. I hope that women will be able to prioritize themselves and not allow outside influence to control them and to know that they can be anything they want to be in this world, to know that true happiness comes from within.
Where do you hope to see your work in the next 3-5 years?
I hope that my book will be global and reach as many women out there and maybe one day become a telenovela.
If you could give advice to the next generation of writers, what would it be?
Don’t do it for money, please do it for the love of writing, register for a course that teaches about writing and ask as many questions as you can, and be open for corrections and fair criticism.
What is your definition of a pretty woman who hustles?
My definition of beauty is not outer appearances but a woman’s beauty is defined by her strengths, personality, and character and for me, a pretty woman who hustles is a woman who works hard, smart and would do anything to get what she wants but never loses her values and principles while at it.
Support Rashida by purchasing a copy of her book “My pursuit of marriage: memoir”