Jill Wright is a Time Management Strateigst and Motherhood Advocate that helps her clients take ownership of their time, and make it all work so that they don’t have to work so hard. Her SuperMom clients end up not only with a better running business, but also time for family, self-care and even REST!

She is an author, speaker, and host of the Grow Like a Mother podcast, and you can find her on Instagram or Facebook @growlikeamother. Her book Happy Healthy Wealthy and Wise is available anywhere books are sold. Tune in to the Grow Like a Mother podcast for weekly doses of wisdom and inspiration.

Can you share a bit about the toughest challenges you faced while raising two young children, one with special needs, and managing postpartum depression and anxiety?

First off, I want to acknowledge that everyone’s life comes with challenges, this is just my personal story of how they showed up. I think the hardest thing was never getting a break – my brain and body were always “on” and I was unable to take time to care for myself, which compounded the stress of always being needed. I realized pretty quickly that I was someone who needed more alone time than average, and it was brutal not to be able to take any.

How did these experiences shape your approach to life and work?

Once I got my depression and anxiety under control, I was able to breathe a bit, and I finally accepted that I needed some help. I reached out to my support network, built it up even stronger with new people, and started delegating the things that didn’t need to be done by me personally. It’s been my key to success honestly, a great gift in the form of a hard lesson: no one can do it by themselves.

How did you manage the demanding tasks of running a brick-and-mortar store while juggling family responsibilities during the pandemic?

In short, I didn’t. I had to let go of a lot of things that were less important to me (which meant major prioritizing), I had to lower my expectations, and I had to bring in help both in the business and at home. It was a never-ending balancing act and I ultimately had to make the decision to shift the business so that I could focus the time and attention needed on the family.

You mentioned changing your internal landscape to create a safe environment for yourself and your children. Can you elaborate on what that process looked like for you?

When I realized that I couldn’t change my external circumstances I knew the only way I could get through the chaos was to control my mindset. I dove into personal development work, time management, and parenting tips, all in an effort to find tools that would help me keep it together. By learning and growing I was able to better understand myself, my triggers, and my limits. I did a lot of inner work to be ok speaking those things out loud to be able to explain to my family what I needed so that they could easily get on board to help, which they did happily! Once that was accomplished I was showing up as a better, more grounded version of myself which helped heal all of our nervous systems!

What were some of the key changes you made internally that had the most significant impact?

I learned to feel my emotions so I could let them pass through. I practiced being calm in the room when my toddlers were having meltdowns, and being ok to leave the room safely if I couldn’t be calm so that I didn’t add fuel to their fire. It was inner work based on mindset, habits, and spirituality. I changed my stories and affirmed empowering beliefs instead.

You emphasize welcoming big emotions and having open conversations. How do you practice this in your daily life, and how has it affected your relationship with your children?

One very lucky thing about raising an autistic child is the tools you learn to communicate with them. I used many of these tools with all of my kids, and they work beautifully. We talk openly about feelings, mine and theirs. I model behaviors for them, and we talk about what we could have done differently if a situation didn’t go as we would have liked. Perhaps most importantly, I apologize when I’m wrong or act in a way I’m not proud of. We act out of love compassion and inclusion, in our home and in our community.

What advice would you give to parents who find it challenging to express and process their emotions?

Practice. It’s not an overnight thing, and it’s often a “no pain no gain” type of thing. It’s hard for a reason, if it was easy everyone would be doing it. It takes effort to sit with the hard stuff, but that’s the way to move through it. Start by acknowledging your feelings privately to yourself. Journal, speak your thoughts out loud. Bring in a trusted friend or confidant. Share your feelings with them. Get their perspective. Look at the situation from another person’s perspective. Work up the courage to have the hard conversations that need to be had, but go in with the intent of finding a mutually agreeable outcome.

Social media often portrays an unrealistic image of “doing it all.” How do you manage the pressure of these expectations?

Unfollow anyone whose account makes you feel jealous or bad about yourself. I often go on a ‘social media diet’ and stop consuming for a day or a weekend. It’s helpful to remove the stimulus if you want to stop the comparison game. I keep people in my circle who are real and don’t expect everything of themselves as examples of real people with real lives. Because we all know what we see online is a highlight reel of the moments people want us to see.

What message do you have for other parents who feel overwhelmed by societal standards?

No one knows what they are doing. Truly. You didn’t miss the handbook, there just isn’t one. We are all busy and tired and doing our best. If you want to start feeling better and less overwhelmed the place to start is internally. With you. Your mindset. Your home life. Your relationships. Everything ripples out from there, and that is how we make a collective impact. But the only thing you have control of is yourself, so start there and make SMALL changes. The smaller the change, the easier it is to stay consistent with it. And you will see results with consistency.

What projects or plans do you have in mind to support other parents facing similar challenges?

I created an online community for moms called The Village as a place where we can gather and come together in solidarity with one another. It’s a space for us to share, ask questions, offer advice, show up and connect live with each other, learn from not only myself but other guest experts on a variety of topics, and it also includes my entire collection of digital resources for moms who want to start to learn the tricks of the trade to battle their burnout.

You can try it for free at https://www.jillwright.ca/the-village.

Connect Online:
https://www.instagram.com/growlikeamother/
https://www.facebook.com/growlikeamother